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Tag Archives: trust

Fear versus Trust

04 Wednesday Dec 2019

Posted by donnamann in Grieve and Grow

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anxiety, awareness, depression, fear, trust

Have you ever felt helpless because of a situation beyond your control? Emotions surface, such as fear of the unknown, or panic in the immediate cause questions like, ‘what next?’ Perhaps the thought, “If this could happen, then what about other unknown circumstances.”  And notions of unpredictable crises flood your thoughts like a race car heading for the checkered flag. Any of these beliefs can cause anxiety, which can take a person into all kinds of fear.

I saw some of these emotions come to life as I stood on the harbour sidewalk, looking into a dense fog.  Some people were sure the ferry wouldn’t reach the shore. People debated if the ferry did arrive as scheduled, would it make a return trip to the other shore. Sometimes we can talk ourselves into believing the worse scenario.

A woman said, “I’m not going out in that soup.” While another encouraged, “Get a meal and some reading material, and we’ll be home before you know it.

And then cheers rose above the disgruntled comments as people heard the horn and sited the ferry gliding towards the dock with the utmost of confidence. The usual noise followed in the predictable order as the ferry locked into position and opened enormous jaws for cars to drive out. All in precise order, passengers boarded.

Later in the dining area, all our favorites were listed on the menu. After ordering, the competent staff handed plates with steaming food to quiet our appetite. As passengers looked out into nothingness, the ferry pressed through thick fog for close to two hours. As time went on, people brought out decks of cards, some played games on their device, while others talked or slept. I wrote this blog and thought about how trust dissolves fear. Awareness intensifies confidence.

Especially in the grief process, trust and awareness are two huge emotions to conquer the fear of getting lost in the murkiness of the unknown. Sometimes people can lose their way while struggling through the grief process. Failure to acknowledge the shore of peace and confidence is coming closer take them off course.

Consider your grief process. Are there levels of losses, i.e. financial, relationships, leadership, self-confidence that rob you of trust and awareness? Perhaps taking a few minutes to jot them down in your journal will provide the courage to work through foggy situations and bring you peace of mind.

When Sorrow Walked With Me

22 Sunday Apr 2018

Posted by donnamann in Grieve and Grow

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belonging, connecting, grief, sorrow, trust, unknown

On April 6, 2018 the Humboldt Broncos tragedy changed Canada. That seems like a broad statement, but it’s true. In fact, people from around the globe send their commitment to the fundraising project – one effort by one woman provided a response. Parents, brothers, sisters, extended family, neighbours, friends and strangers connected. Even people who didn’t know those who lost their life or those who were injured, wanted to reach out. Social media proved to be a great way to connect, to show love and compassion. Why was all of this important? Was it to help? Perhaps to share their pain? Maybe to enter into the sorrow with the families? As the quote suggests, through sorrow and sharing it with others, we learn. We learn about love, trust and sharing in new ways of living with grief. We learn that being vulnerable allows others to come into our pain . . . and that is healing, even in small ways.

I, for one, could not watch a news broadcast without tearing. As a hockey famly, we were eager to put a hockey stick on our front porch to pay tribute, to remember and to remind others. There’s something else in the picture of the hockey stick beside our front door and that is the clear circle that a crock made on the floor. When I look at this image I see what was and what had been through the winter – a dusty, messy porch floor. When I moved the crock to make room to take the picture, I saw the clean circle, and choose not to sweep,  clean or erase before taking the picture. What do you take from the image? Is there a before and after for you? There usually is in most life tragedies. Life can be messy . . . and grief can be painful  . . . and emotional pain can be hard to live with.

And so we connect in whatever way is helpful to share our pain, to take us through an agonizing time. Maybe we can help others and ourselves to make it a little easier. Perhaps we draw on our faith or understanding to strength us until we find the words.

Jot down some notes in your grief journal. Write whatever comes into your mind. Try not to edit or fix. Leave it for a while and when you come back to it, it may be just the answer to give you peace. 

 

 

Letting it happen!

16 Friday Sep 2016

Posted by donnamann in Grieve and Grow

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crying, releasing, trust

Do you lose patience if tears fill your eyes when you’re reading your favourite novel?  Is it because it reminds you of a painful experience in your own life?

This normal reaction to the printed word occurs when the content touches your heartstrings. Tears force the letters to fade on the page. You swipe them away, hoping to gain immediate clarity of the words. You’re eager to see what happens in the plot, but the tears win. The words appear and disappear like leaves blowing in the wind.

If you’re reading in bed, you grab a corner of the sheet to soak up the flood of tears on your face.

Holding your breath coaxes several hiccups. You realize you’re on the edge of bawling like a calf calling his mother. And after sleep claims you in the long dark night, you stir and feel the still damp sheet. The author’s well crafted words elicits a silent thank you to move across your peaceful mind. And you sleep.

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Take a few moments to remember when someone’s words moved you onward in your grief process.

Healing Tears

12 Friday Aug 2016

Posted by donnamann in Grieve and Grow

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grief, love, trust, weeping

“Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her face, making the sleeve of John’s shirt wet. She wasn’t crying, not really. She was too numb to cry or feel or react. Rather her body was grieving all on its now, the tears leaking from her eyes without any weeping or sobbing or emotions” (REUNION: Karen Kingsbury, p. 204).

This insert comes from a novel. But, wait you say, novels are fiction so the above is not true. You might even test it and challenge it by saying, it’s the kind of statement I’d find it in a non-fiction book. But, then consider the old clichés, “Fiction is truer than history,” or fact, or truth and yes, even non-fiction.

I just returned from a holiday, and as usual I took many books with me. Because I write about grief and support families and individuals in their grief process, I find it interesting how an author unpacks his or her plot when someone dies in the story. In Reunion, a family grieves the death of a mother, grandmother, wife and friend, and Mom joins in the grieving process. It is raw honesty. Believable and healing.

And why not, when the dying is suffering the greatest loss. Her life. It is natural and normal for family to gather around their loved ones and cry openly. It is a good death when the dying joins in this last family time together. An invisible bond of trust, love and safety connects them.

Take a few moments and write in your journal, or sketch a picture. Trust to paper what comes to your mind

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Through Time (June)

15 Wednesday Jul 2015

Posted by donnamann in Grieve and Grow

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grief, time, trust

Grief is like a jagged rock that you bury deep in your pocket, Its sharp edges forcing you to take it out and examine it from time to time. Even when you don’t want to, and when it is too heavy to carry, you must ask a friend to hold it so you can rest. As time passes it is a little easier to take the rock out of your pocket. It doesn’t seem to weigh as much. Now you show it to a circle of friends and, occasionally, even a stranger. One day you pull out the rock and surprisingly, it doesn’t even hurt. For the edges are no longer jagged, but smoothed out by time, touch and tears. (Author unknown)

 

Notepad_icon       Journal a few thoughts to express (process) feelings.

Donna Mann

Donna Mann
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