It is often said that a picture is worth a thousand words. The picture below shows in detail the changing seasons of creation. One can easily see the scattered leaves on the grass, suggesting a strong wind may have taken them from trees to prepare for a new season. It is important to note that the trunks of the trees remain a consistent colour, same hight and number of branches as before the wind blew. In the background, we can still see colour, suggesting that other trees are going through a similar process in their own way. Different levels of earth make some of the colours and shapes stand more prominently than others.

Although the landscape in the picture above seems rather barren, I can almost hear the ripple of the fresh water under the bridge. Imagining the soothing cleansing of the water and even though it is not visible suggests movement and cleansing. One has to guess that there is a stream between the two shores, even though it is not seen. Otherwise why would a bridge be necessary.

What are your bridges? What kind of water runs beneath them cleansing the bottom-rock or your life. And in the shadows of the bridge, what is growing on the shore, maturing, soon to push through the hard earth of early spring to new life.

Think what has been helpful and take some time to add it to your journal notes.

February may be the month for hearts and chocolates, but it is also a month when people experience decreased exposure to sunlight.
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S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) caused by the loss of light, increases feelings of being sad and results in loss of sleep, irritability, overeating and difficulty in concentrating. A decreased amount of light passes through the eyes during fall and winter, which reduces the release of serotonin, an important brain chemical. Melatonin, a sleep-related hormone secreted by the pineal gland in the brain, has also been linked to S.A.D. Depressive symptoms can begin to occur when this happens. Depression deepens.
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Winter Blues is similar to S.A.D. in some ways, but the symptoms are reduced. Winter Worsening is another condition that worsens over the winter months.
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By February, grievers who enter the depth of winter already sad, already blue and feeling that their grief is growing deeper, bring with them intense feelings of loss that they’ve been carrying for an undetermined length of time.
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Often grief is misinterpreted or misunderstood. Their symptoms may be similar to those of S.A.D., Winter Blues and even Winter Worsening, but their recovery can be quite different.
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Grieving through winter months is often very difficult. Grievers look for ways to survive their personal loss in terms of staying healthy. The root words for survival come from the Latin words ‘sur’ meaning beyond and ‘vivo’ meaning live. To survive and stay ahead of this, means to find the resources (experiences and knowledge and support) to ‘live beyond’ personal loss.
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Dull winter days are not very helpful. The landscape reflects felt emotions: colourless; various shades of gray against gray; bushes and trees against gray sky, black trunks of various size poke through white gray snow.
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The elements often offer uncertainty in weather conditions. When you do decide to get out of the house and go shopping or visiting, you can’t.
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So what can a griever do during the month of February? Here are just a few hints that might be helpful.
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Find a suitable place or person with whom to share your feelings about your personal loss

Put out some mirrors or hang reflective sun-catchers
Buy an amaryllis and watch it grow
Go to a flower show
Look through a seed catalogue and plan a garden or indoor flower pot
Buy a bright coloured piece of clothing
Volunteer in a children’s program
Visit a senior’s residence
Purchase a vanilla scented candle
Leave extra lights on in the house
Make a habit of going outside for a walk or just to clean the snow off the veranda when the sun is shining
Keep your curtains open during the day as much as possible
If you haven’t bought a computer yet, make the investment,
it’s a great way to get past yourself and into the world
If you have a computer and on email, send out ten, “You’ve
got mail waiting” is like a breath of fresh air in the morning.”
Choose several positive people and send them an e-greeting card
Visit my previous web site (www.homestead.com/the_meadows/mann.html)
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Even though grief lasts longer than winter months, the griever has the opportunity to anticipate the warm sunny days of spring as an additional resource. If you are working the grief process, then you have a few more months toward recovery behind you.

 
​Make some notes in your journal about the month of February
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During my time as grief counsellor and writing Grieve and Grow newspaper columns, I had opportunity to think about how others work through their grief. Because it is a personal journey and everyone walks it differently, each story is an isolated path leading from one mindset to another. However, I have found within grief groups, there is common ground even in our differentness.

As I can only speak for myself, there are certain understandings that I would never have had a reason to explore without grief. There were emotions that I could take the time to unpack. And in my wanderings, I would never have learned to build bridges to get across, or through the valleys of helplessness and confusion. These bridges were structures of hope. They offered invitations to develop a new sense of courage, tenacity, honesty and willingness to help define a new normal.

John C. Raines describes a sojourn of grief as: “Grief is a midwife; it lets the journey continue.” Think about the bridges in your path. Perhaps friends have bridged the valleys for you. Maybe, gifts of writing, painting or caring for others have been the midwife for you. One’s faith can be a gate to take the next step.

Dig out what has been helpful for you during this time and take some time to add it to your journal notes.

Look for this resource in Amazon and Kobo. It is waiting for you.

A Poem Worth Remembering:

Go ahead and mention my child.

The one that died you know.

Don’t worry about making me cry, I’m already crying inside.

Help me to heal by releasing the tears that I try to hide.

I’m hurt when you just keep silent pretending she didn’t exist.

I’d rather you mention my child knowing he has been missed.

You asked me how I was doing

I say “pretty good” or “fine”, but healing is something ongoing.

I feel it will take a lifetime.

Author Unknown

I first read this short poem when it was published in the Mount Forest Confederate (June 6, 2000) and have shared it many times since then.