February, 2015

Time does not bring healing in emotional or physical pain; what counts is what we do in the time. As we grieve well, growth is the natural result. Picture a plant suffering from draught and wind, and then after intentional care, watch natural growth begin to slowly develop. We know how to grieve. We’ve practiced it since before we could walk. It is hard work, but we can do it. Herein lies the healing.

“Grief is a process; it is not an event. Grieving is not learned; it is a natural response of releasing normal emotions . . . I learned after my daughter’s death that personal and spiritual growth was not achieved by just reading about grief; it [began to happen as] I worked through my [emotions]” (Page 5f WinterGrief, 2003).

Regardless of where we live in the world, the colour of our skin, our native language, education or lack of it, rich or poor, with status or without, believer or sceptic – we share a universal experience of grief. It is here we find ourselves on common ground. What makes us different from one another is the what, how and who that brought us to grieve and how we cope while suffering loss.

Journal a few thoughts to express (process) feelings.

JANUARY, 2015

A new year! Regardless of when you read this blog, you have the opportunity to make a new start, recreate a new beginning. Sometimes, it takes looking closely at the obstacles in your path to achieve your goal. You might spend mega energy circumventing any one of life’s twists and turns rather than risk exploring what they mean for you at any given time.

Consider:

• A health issue that places limits on your life.
• Moving from one location to another, the extra work, fatigue and loss of interest.
• Turning the age that you’ve been dreading.
• Going on in life without your life partner.
• Watching any one of your children make poor choices.
• Reviewing your life and claiming the sorrow about ways you treated self.
• Add your own situation when you journal.

The hand of grief has many fingers.

This is the first day of the rest of your life. Try to emotionally detach yourself from anything that doesn’t include you in a positive way. Leave it with a Higher Power, a loving God, the Universe or whatever name correctly describes someone beyond self. And then listen and . . .

Journal a few thoughts to express (process) feelings.

The words Grieve and Grow might seem contradictory, but one actually compliments the other. It is through grieving, acknowledging our emotions that we grow in understanding of self and others. As we process our feelings it is definitely a win-win situation.

This blog is written for you.  It is my hope that you will come back and find a beam of light to shed on your life and brighten your day. We grieve because we have a broken heart. We grow in understanding ourselves and the situation as we process our thoughts. It is a journey. It is a pathway to new insight, freedom and life.

“It is also written for people like me who need the reassurance that grieving is normal and the only permission I need comes from me. To those of you who turned away from statements like, “Come on now, don’t cry” and found your space to weep, to wail, to express your anger and your helplessness–Bravo. And for those who have not yet begun the grief process, it is never too late” (21 Promises: Self Care in Grief (2015).