Time does not bring healing in emotional or physical pain; what counts is what we do in the time. As we grieve well, growth is the natural result. Picture a plant suffering from draught and wind, and then after intentional care, watch natural growth begin to slowly develop. We know how to grieve. We’ve practiced it since before we could walk. It is hard work, but we can do it. Herein lies the healing.
“Grief is a process; it is not an event. Grieving is not learned; it is a natural response of releasing normal emotions . . . I learned after my daughter’s death that personal and spiritual growth was not achieved by just reading about grief; it [began to happen as] I worked through my [emotions]” (Page 5f WinterGrief, 2003).
Regardless of where we live in the world, the colour of our skin, our native language, education or lack of it, rich or poor, with status or without, believer or sceptic – we share a universal experience of grief. It is here we find ourselves on common ground. What makes us different from one another is the what, how and who that brought us to grieve and how we cope while suffering loss.