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Did you walk up the street past the funeral home or a church and see black cars parked along the curb? Did you say, “I wonder who’s funeral that is.” Or maybe you walked by a cemetery and saw a small group standing with a few persons seated in front. In most cases you walk on completing your errand or keeping your appointment.

Maybe you saw an obituary in the morning newspaper, or perhaps someone phoned to tell you that John Doe’s celebration of life will be held at a particular place at 2:00. You think of former years when you and John attended the same school. An afternoon where both of your famlies showed up at the same reunion is part of a vague memory from those days. You might say, I haven’t seen him for years. And yet, you remember winning a two-legged race with him at the Sunday School picnic. And there was that time you cleaned the school auditorium with him, after the graduating ceremony.

Maybe I should go. I might see some other school friends. There will be lots of stories. It’ll be good to be reminded of John. Now that I think more about it, we did have some good times together. But I don’t want people to think I’m only there for the lunch.

As you go about your day’s work, you think more about John. Strange how small pieces of memory about him begin to give you forgotten moments. And those precious memories almost forgotten can be a gift for unresolved grief that might not have anything to do with John, but more about you.

Jot down a few notes in your journal about services you wanted to attend.